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Top Jokes
Giving you the very best (or worst?) of the archive. The list can be quite dynamic, so come back often (hint hint).

Joke First Line Views Thumbs Up Thumbs Down Score
I need help I need help An old man lived alone in Idaho ... 32767 4448 538 11.9327
Youth machine Youth machine An Amish boy and his father ... 19785 2507 552 9.8812
New Curtains New Curtains A blonde walked into a store ... 15261 2669 1336 8.7347
New York Lawyer New York Lawyer A New York lawyer went duck hunting ... 29290 3385 835 8.7060
Doctor vs Mechanic Doctor vs Mechanic A mechanic was removing a cylinder ... 15700 1638 304 8.4968
Tough decision Tough decision Your dog's barking at the back door ... 13342 2356 1237 8.3870
Fading Memory Fading Memory Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation ... 13606 1821 854 7.1072
Worms Worms A biology teacher wished to demonstrate ... 18869 1799 660 6.0364
Comforting words Comforting words A man was seen fleeing down the hall ... 11156 1274 622 5.8444
3 wishes 3 wishes A man was walking on the beach ... 14666 2298 1447 5.8025
The female dormitory The female dormitory The female dormitory ... 21354 2258 1043 5.6898
You're Next You're Next When I was younger I hated going to weddings ... 32767 1981 157 5.5666
Deal with dad Deal with dad A young boy had just gotten his driving permit ... 12069 1137 473 5.5017
CON CON "CON" is the opposite of "PRO" ... 16529 2700 1824 5.2998
Swearing parrot Swearing parrot So there's this fella with a parrot ... 17830 1647 734 5.1206
Counseling Counseling A husband and wife came for counseling ... 28768 1675 377 4.5120
Nursing Confusion Nursing Confusion As I was nursing my baby ... 995 2399 2358 4.1206
Lawyer's Dog Lawyer's Dog A lawyer's dog, running around town ... 15822 917 365 3.4888
Vacation Vacation An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation ... 13762 506 33 3.4370
Model Model An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time ... 10077 378 32 3.4336
Look_at_stars Look_at_stars Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping t ... 15791 596 54 3.4323
Blonde cover Blonde cover A blonde walks into an appliance store ... 19784 1164 486 3.4270
Family Math Family Math If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another ... 21779 907 161 3.4253
Praying Parrots Praying Parrots A woman went to her priest with a problem ... 14661 577 75 3.4241
Gold Goat Gold Goat What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? ... 8411 325 37 3.4241
Snake Snake A snake slithers into a bar ... 8557 327 34 3.4241
Upholstery Upholstery The man who fell into the upholstery machine? ... 12529 488 59 3.4241
Running Bus Running Bus Why should you never run in front of a bus? ... 6834 257 23 3.4241
Feminists Feminists How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? ... 11974 487 77 3.4241
Mice Mice How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... 9404 378 56 3.4241
Rates Rates A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about rates ... 10806 437 67 3.4240
Sand Sand What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? ... 4118 266 125 3.4240
Hippy Bulb Hippy Bulb How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ... 6396 237 18 3.4240
Grapes Grapes A talking duck waddles into a stop 'n' rob and ask ... 5958 214 10 3.4240
Food_choice Food_choice A guy is on a trip on a small airline. ... 9667 521 190 3.4240
Living Will Living Will Living Will ... 2132 106 33 3.4240
Managers Managers How come managers don't go elephant hunting? ... 3271 129 17 3.4240
Seasick Seasick What do you give a seasick elephant? ... 9229 348 32 3.4240
Gowns Gowns What is the difference between an evening gown and a nightgown? ... 10222 387 37 3.4240
Civil Civil What is the difference between a chess player and a civil servant ... 5958 328 124 3.4240
Wad Wad What does Monica Loewenski have in her pocket? ... 993 37 3 3.4240
Shoe Size Shoe Size A Canadian woman doesn't worry if her shoes fit her feet ... 6805 260 27 3.4240
Dead Frog Dead Frog A pupil told his kindergarten teacher that he had found a frog ... 7944 423 151 3.4240
Beer Beer You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline ... 6396 251 32 3.4240
Microsoft Programmers Microsoft Programmers How many Microsoft programmers does it take ... 10514 407 47 3.4240
Doctors Doctors How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? ... 8791 332 31 3.4240
Invention Invention Marriage is a wonderful invention ... 5812 218 19 3.4240
Moth Balls Moth Balls What do you have if you have a moth ball in your ... 4118 159 18 3.4240
Runaway Runaway How do you stop a runaway horse? ... 2979 239 137 3.4240
Strapping Strapping I'm for bringing back the birch ... 6104 245 36 3.4240
Pol_truth Pol_truth Q. What do you get when you ask a politician to te ... 9521 451 125 3.4240
Prayer Prayer Do you say a prayer before you eat? ... 12763 473 36 3.4240
Drinking Drinking As the doctor completed an examination of the patient ... 9375 383 62 3.4240
Hearing Aid Hearing Aid An old man was bragging to his neighbor ... 12763 548 111 3.4240
Virgin Wool Virgin Wool Where do you get virgin wool from? ... 5520 275 86 3.4239
Upstairs Tennants Upstairs Tennants A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants ... 9609 445 116 3.4239
Three Companies Three Companies I have to have a raise, the man said to his boss ... 7769 361 95 3.4239
Theatre_seats Theatre_seats This one guy was at a theater and he was sprawled ... 7360 488 236 3.4239
Dinosaurs Dinosaurs Velma was taking the tour of a national park not long ago ... 8061 319 43 3.4239
Grey Hair Grey Hair Grey Hair ... 6075 234 26 3.4239
Cleopatra Cleopatra Why did Cleopatra always say no? ... 7769 292 26 3.4239
Newcar Newcar Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to ... 4527 170 15 3.4239
Roadie Bulb Roadie Bulb How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb? ... 11595 476 79 3.4239
Terrorists Terrorists The terrorists have siezed the 'Attorney Building' ... 4527 168 13 3.4239
Forgetful Forgetful While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a restaurant ... 6922 338 101 3.4239
Kiss Kiss Are you allowed to kiss a nun? ... 16560 661 94 3.4239
Ants Ants Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant ... 10193 416 67 3.4239
Eggs Eggs Guy walks into a restaurant and orders eggs. ... 13289 528 73 3.4239
Lunch Lunch Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks ... 11449 429 37 3.4239
Men Men What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man? ... 6367 543 325 3.4239
Drink_blood Drink_blood A man is captured by cannibals, every day they p ... 7506 295 38 3.4239
Bad seats Bad seats There was a Packers fan with ... 9200 566 251 3.4239
Stress Stress Stress is the basic discomfort created ... 5228 198 19 3.4239
Expelled Expelled Hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? ... 6367 298 80 3.4239
Empty Pool Empty Pool How do you empty a swimming pool of Canadians? ... 6922 266 29 3.4239

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