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A panda sauntered into the saloon, sat down at the bar and told the bartender "Give me a sandwich and a beer."
The bartender had seen many strange characters out west, and knew it was important to keep his cool, so he replied, "Sure, stranger," and slapped a ham sandwich and a cold one in front of the bear.
The panda chomped on the sandwich and gulped down the beer.
He then deftly pulled his six-shooter, aimed at a whiskey bottle behind the counter, and pulled the trigger. The bottle exploded into glass pieces and shattered onto the floor. The bartender was dumfounded as he watched the bear return his gun to his holster and walk out the front door.
"Hey, what the hell is going on?" shouted the bartender as he ran after the bear. The panda stopped and said, "what did you want??
"Well, I sure didn't expect you to shoot up the bar. Besides, you still owe me for lunch."
"I'm a PANDA. Look it up." replied the bear and went on his way.
The bartender was too upset and nervous to rile such an unpredictable sort, so he picked up his unabridged dictionary from the shelf, and found the entry for "panda."
"Damn!!!" he muttered. He realized that there was nothing he could do about it. There it was, in black and white, written by an authority no less than Noah Webster himself:
?pan-da -- n. A large bear-like member of the
Raccoon family native to the mountains of China and
Tibet, with distinctive white and black markings.
Eats shoots and leaves."
or
"A panda (yes, the animal with dark eyes) meets this gorgeous babe and decides to woo her. Manages somehow to get her number and arranges for a date. On the evening of the date, he picks her up and takes her to a really nice restaurant. There they have a wonderful dinner, champagne, candlelight ... well the works.
The babe is suitably charmed and after dinner, they proceed to her place. Before long, as things would have it, they re having this delicious romp in bed. But as soon as it s over, the panda gets off the bed, brushes his fur in the mirror and makes for the door.
The rather distressed babe cries out at this point "Hey, this is not happening! You can t just take me out for dinner, bring me home, make love to me and just leave like that!"
The panda turns around, with a puzzled look on his face. He looks around the room and sees what he s looking for. He walks over to the bookshelf, picks up the dictionary and looks for the correct page and word. He finds it, walks over to the babe and points impatiently at the word.
Thru tear-laden eyes, the babe reads : "Panda : an animal that eats shoots and leaves".
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