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Daily Joke Archive

Violin Jokes

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Violin

	Joke	First Line	Views			Score
	Beethoven's 9th	Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th ...	612	12	0	1.9608
	Brains	The Pentagon was collecting the brain matter of musicians ...	512	10	0	1.9531
	Cello	How do you make a cello sound beautiful ...	727	10	2	1.1004
	Censors	Seems that the censors (they know who they are) ...	5577	218	26	3.4427
	Conductor	The Philedelphia Orchestra is having a rehersal. ...	585	10	0	1.7094
	Double Bass	Why is a double bass better than a violin? ...	486	10	0	2.0576
	Full Deckisms	Different ways of saying dumb ...	2103	14	0	0.6657
	Karajan	Max dies and meets St Peter at the Pearly Gates. ...	1599	65	10	3.4396
	Messages	Answering Machine Messages ...	1135	14	1	1.1454
	Never Die	Canonical Lists of Old * Never Die, they just ... ...	940	12	2	1.0638
	Opera	Into the fifth hour of a performance of _Der Meistersinger_, ...	404	10	0	2.4752
	Quartet	What is the true makeup of a string quartet? ...	509	15	0	2.9470
	Rio	There once was a violinist from Rio ...	1278	36	0	2.8169
	Sex Competency	Before you start you must be certain that you are competent ...	883	9	1	0.9060
	Thibault	Jacques Thibaul, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book ...	447	15	0	3.3557
	Thirty-seconds	A violin player has given a good recital ...	525	12	0	2.2857
	Viola Audition	A violist applied for a position in a symphony orchestra ...	457	10	0	2.1882
	Viola Size	Why is a viola bigger than a violin? ...	483	14	0	2.8986
	Violin	Marriage is like a violin. ...	1333	13	0	0.9752
	Violin	Marriage is very much like a violin; ...	651	11	0	1.6897
	Violin Heaven	Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first ...	3344	195	80	3.4390
	Violin Lesson	Havent I seen your face before? a judge demanded ...	664	13	0	1.9578
	Violin no tune	How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? ...	505	13	0	2.5743
	Violin Tune	How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? ...	570	16	0	2.8070
	Violin tune	How do you get 11 violinists to play in tune? ...	544	14	0	2.5735
	Violin_player	"Doctor, when you remove this cast, will I be able ...	870	11	0	1.2644
	Wind & Port	A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in a lounge ...	596	14	0	2.3490
	Worst Conductor	The world's worst orchestra director was preparing ...	829	10	0	1.2063