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Daily Joke Archive

Violin Jokes

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Violin

	Joke	First Line	Views			Score
	Beethoven's 9th	Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th ...	540	12	0	2.2222
	Brains	The Pentagon was collecting the brain matter of musicians ...	457	10	0	2.1882
	Cello	How do you make a cello sound beautiful ...	666	10	2	1.2012
	Censors	Seems that the censors (they know who they are) ...	4912	216	22	3.9495
	Conductor	The Philedelphia Orchestra is having a rehersal. ...	504	10	0	1.9841
	Double Bass	Why is a double bass better than a violin? ...	430	10	0	2.3256
	Full Deckisms	Different ways of saying dumb ...	1869	14	0	0.7491
	Karajan	Max dies and meets St Peter at the Pearly Gates. ...	1391	65	10	3.9540
	Messages	Answering Machine Messages ...	980	14	1	1.3265
	Never Die	Canonical Lists of Old * Never Die, they just ... ...	831	12	1	1.3237
	Opera	Into the fifth hour of a performance of _Der Meistersinger_, ...	354	10	0	2.8249
	Quartet	What is the true makeup of a string quartet? ...	458	15	0	3.2751
	Rio	There once was a violinist from Rio ...	1207	36	0	2.9826
	Sex Competency	Before you start you must be certain that you are competent ...	765	9	1	1.0458
	Thibault	Jacques Thibaul, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book ...	399	15	0	3.7594
	Thirty-seconds	A violin player has given a good recital ...	472	12	0	2.5424
	Viola Audition	A violist applied for a position in a symphony orchestra ...	394	10	0	2.5381
	Viola Size	Why is a viola bigger than a violin? ...	430	14	0	3.2558
	Violin	Marriage is like a violin. ...	1214	13	0	1.0708
	Violin	Marriage is very much like a violin; ...	560	11	0	1.9643
	Violin Heaven	Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first ...	2932	195	79	3.9563
	Violin Lesson	Havent I seen your face before? a judge demanded ...	571	13	0	2.2767
	Violin no tune	How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? ...	434	13	0	2.9954
	Violin Tune	How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? ...	504	16	0	3.1746
	Violin tune	How do you get 11 violinists to play in tune? ...	471	14	0	2.9724
	Violin_player	"Doctor, when you remove this cast, will I be able ...	690	11	0	1.5942
	Wind & Port	A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in a lounge ...	525	14	0	2.6667
	Worst Conductor	The world's worst orchestra director was preparing ...	773	10	0	1.2937