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Daily Joke Archive

P Jokes

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Parody Parsley Party Penis Pets Pharmacist Phobia Physicist Piano Pilot Pipers Poems Police Porshe Poverty Prank Pray Preacher Preist Present Priest Profession Professions Profit Programmer Psychiatrist Pun Pychiatrist

	Joke	First Line	Views			Score
	24 hours	This guy goes into a doctor's office ...	4201	235	69	3.9514
	Amoebas	How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb ? ...	801	15	1	1.7478
	Anarchists	How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb? ...	474	10	1	1.8987
	Big Screen TV	My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs ...	922	89	127	-4.1215
	Blonde	A blind man walks into a bar ...	4049	199	39	3.9516
	Blonde	Blonde College ...	859	89	84	0.5821
	Blonde	Blonde ...	1143	69	46	2.0122
	Blonde	There was a blonde driving down the road ...	1442	104	48	3.8835
	C Word	Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next ...	574	15	1	2.4390
	Cheeky Parrot	On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot ...	575	13	2	1.9130
	Painter	The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done ...	1031	117	107	0.9699
	Palm Reader	Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair ...	491	13	1	2.4440
	Pampered cow	What do you get from a pampered cow? ...	567	18	1	2.9982
	Panda	A panda sauntered into the saloon, sat down at the bar ...	541	13	0	2.4030
	Pandemonium	A student teacher had lost control of her classroom ...	568	10	1	1.5845
	Panic	What is the difference between frustration and panic? ...	598	21	1	3.3445
	Paper Airplane	A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked ...	572	13	0	2.2727
	Parents	A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night ...	887	21	0	2.3675
	Parking	Mildred, the church gossip, self-appointed monitor ...	913	14	0	1.5334
	Parrot	A man received a phone call one day, the caller asking ...	499	10	0	2.0040
	Parrot's language	A Yale English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor ...	444	9	0	2.0270
	Pass card	Any of you have those square electronic keys you press against ...	472	9	0	1.9068
	Pass the pie	Cassie was having her son and his family over for dinner ...	495	12	0	2.4242
	Passing grade	A student comes to a young professor's office hour ...	425	10	0	2.3529
	Passwords	My kids love going to the Web ...	560	12	0	2.1429
	Pat & Mick	Two Irish men Pat and Mick walked into a bar ...	461	40	79	-8.4599
	Patience	A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a ...	515	14	0	2.7184
	Payment	A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS ...	422	7	0	1.6588
	Payphone	A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone ...	426	9	0	2.1127
	Pea Soup	Original Pea Soup joke ...	479	7	0	1.4614
	Peanuts	Two peanuts were walking through the park ...	415	10	0	2.4096
	Peat Moss	A woman went to a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss ...	392	6	0	1.5306
	Pecan Tree	There was a big, old pecan tree inside the cemetery fence ...	492	4	0	0.8130
	Peddler	Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool ...	366	9	0	2.4590
	Pedometer	What does a pedometer measure? ...	451	13	1	2.6608
	Pedophile	A guy walks in the house and finds his wife angrily packing ...	530	15	1	2.6415
	Pedophile	AWhy is a pedophile like the turtle ? ...	482	12	0	2.4896
	Pee Pool	Little Tommy is sent home from school one day ...	574	12	1	1.9164
	Pelican Doctor	The doctors doorbell rang in the middle of the night ...	472	9	0	1.9068
	Penal Accident	Did you hear about the accident between a cement mixer ...	4050	174	14	3.9506
	Pencil	Did you hear about the constipated composer? ...	401	10	0	2.4938
	Penguin_mating	Penguins mate for life. That doesn't surprise me m ...	438	15	0	3.4247
	Penis	Why is the penis a stupid organ? ...	668	20	0	2.9940
	Penis3	Two little boys were in school and the first boy ...	591	14	0	2.3689
	Penis6	What is the insensitive bit at the base of the pen ...	571	10	0	1.7513
	Pennies	Sign seen at a roadside convenience store in Utah: ...	443	15	0	3.3860
	Pensenvy	Penis envy, n: The desire to be pink and wrinkled ...	475	10	0	2.1053
	Perfect	A woman's idea of the perfect man is someone who i ...	913	21	1	2.1906
	Perfect_pitch	What is the definition of perfect pitch? ...	422	13	0	3.0806
	Pet	A single man wants someone to help him with the ho ...	456	10	0	2.1930
	Peter_n_paul	"Why are you in this particular line of work?" a s ...	419	18	4	3.3413
	Pets	There were two good friends, upon a starship, by t ...	370	12	0	3.2432
	Petting_defined	What's the definition of petting? ...	383	12	0	3.1332
	Pharmisist	A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out ...	468	10	1	1.9231
	Philosopher	What's the difference between a philosopher and an engineer? ...	414	7	0	1.6908
	Phone Bill	Bell Phone Bill ...	380	12	0	3.1579
	Phone?	A young businessman had just started his own firm. ...	385	13	1	3.1169
	Piano	This man walks into a bar with a suitcase. When h ...	2152	94	9	3.9498
	Pianotun	The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discov ...	429	11	0	2.5641
	Picasso	Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work i ...	421	13	0	3.0879
	Pickles	Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been emplo ...	675	15	0	2.2222
	Pickups4	Hey, didn't we go to different high schools? ...	437	13	1	2.7460
	Picture_time	Judi and her friend Jill decided to have their pic ...	381	10	0	2.6247
	Pie	Penn's aunts made great pies at low prices. No on ...	374	10	0	2.6738
	Pig	An ugly woman, with a dog under her arm, walks int ...	446	12	0	2.6906
	Pig Sex	A farmer from Texas was worried that none of his pigs were ...	629	12	0	1.9078
	Pig's cars	where do pigs park their cars? ...	425	15	1	3.2941
	Pig3	John is driving down a road. ...	364	12	0	3.2967
	Piggy	What did Miss Piggy say when Gonzo called her? ...	402	12	0	2.9851
	Pigpole	Where do pigs live at the north pole? In pigloos ...	388	9	0	2.3196
	Pig_beer	A pig walks into a bar. He says,"Give me a beer." ...	423	12	0	2.8369
	Pig_stuck	A bloke is driving around in the Australian bush a ...	392	12	0	3.0612
	Pillow Talk	Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! ...	454	15	0	3.3040
	Pilot	It seems that a young man volunterred for military ...	409	12	0	2.9340
	Pilot_oops	The photographer for a national magazine was assig ...	3416	142	7	3.9520
	Pink_vw	Noticing that her boss' fly was open, the embarras ...	389	10	0	2.5707
	Pinocchio	How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? ...	420	15	1	3.3333
	Pinochio	Pinocchio goes to see his father... ...	377	10	0	2.6525
	Pirate	A young boy dressed as a pirate captain knocked on the door ...	413	13	0	3.1477
	Pirates	Why are pirates called pirates ...	695	7	0	1.0072
	Pitbull	What do you get if you cross a chicken and a pit b ...	385	13	0	3.3766
	Pit_crew	The Ferrari formula one team recently fired thei ...	2480	216	241	-1.0081
	Plane_puke	A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the ...	1925	104	28	3.9481
	Platform	Why did the hooker wear platform shoes? ...	397	13	0	3.2746
	Playboy	Did you hear about the new edition of Playboy for ...	517	17	0	3.2882
	Playgrnd	The Playground ...	400	12	0	3.0000
	Playing church	A man came home and saw his children along with a group ...	5796	253	24	3.9510
	Playing_docto3r	On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her ...	7843	532	222	3.9526
	Playing_doctor	Two kids were trying to figure out what game to pl ...	367	9	0	2.4523
	Playing_doctor3	After discovering her young daughter playing docto ...	542	12	0	2.2140
	Playing_house	A little girl and a little boy were at day care on ...	419	9	0	2.1480
	Playing_mozart	What happened when the school band played Mozart? ...	3264	144	15	3.9522
	Playing_withit	This little old lady calls 911. When the operator ...	441	9	0	2.0408
	Pledge	An 81-year-old woman, an alumna of a fine school ...	596	72	76	-0.6711
	Podiatrists	Did you hear about the two podiatrists who were ar ...	389	14	0	3.5990
	Polarity	Where do polar bears vote? ...	413	15	0	3.6320
	Police Ball	Why do policemen have bigger balls than firemen? ...	417	14	0	3.3573
	Police_test	A young man was taking a verbal test to join the l ...	417	11	0	2.6379
	Polish	Do you know why the new football stadium they buil ...	457	12	0	2.6258
	Polite	An athletic young man, who always kept his basebal ...	369	12	0	3.2520
	Pooh Sex	Winnie, Winnie, where are we going to? asks the Piglet. ...	543	10	0	1.8416
	Poor	Jack and his mother were so poor, they lived under ...	468	12	0	2.5641
	Poor	As the pastor shook hands with the congregation leaving the churc ...	375	9	0	2.4000
	Pope	One day at the Vatican the Pope was bored so he wa ...	425	11	0	2.5882
	Pork sex	Father Murphy and Rabbi Goldberg meet at a convention ...	544	12	0	2.2059
	Porn gas	How can you tell the porno star at the gas station? ...	427	8	0	1.8735
	Porno	Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas ...	495	15	0	3.0303
	Portch	An Irish painter was called to paint a house. The ...	375	10	0	2.6667
	Positions	Hey Doris, what do you say we try a different position tonight? ...	446	16	0	3.5874
	Positive	A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class ...	357	8	0	2.2409
	Positive Outlook	A little old lady was sitting on a park bench ...	697	5	0	0.7174
	Posse	A young lad returned home from school with a disap ...	343	9	0	2.6239
	Postage_stamp	Why was the commemorative postage stamp for prosti ...	332	10	0	3.0120
	Post_office	Q.) What does it mean when the flag is at half mas ...	355	11	0	3.0986
	Potato	If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough ...	367	13	0	3.5422
	Potato	What do you get when you cross a penis with a pota ...	434	10	0	2.3041
	Potatoe	A man goes to the beach to try and pick up girls. ...	1241	66	17	3.9484
	Pow	During World War II, the captured Allied agents of ...	387	12	0	3.1008
	Power	The chief of a poor American Indian tribe .. no pa ...	400	13	0	3.2500
	Prawn Cocktail	A man was hit around the head with a prawn cocktail ...	6099	290	49	3.9515
	Prayer	Do you say a prayer before you eat? ...	10830	457	29	3.9520
	Prayer2	Our program, ...	400	14	1	3.2500
	Pray_rain	At the Sunday service, the minister decided to lea ...	399	14	1	3.2581
	Predictions	How come scientists know that this comet thing will hit ...	1008	112	199	-8.6310
	Pregnant	A couple just started their Lamaze class ...	3694	164	18	3.9524
	Pregnant	On the day before her 12th baby was due, Mrs. Mas ...	434	9	1	1.8433
	Pregnant Bulb	What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? ...	561	17	0	3.0303
	Pregnant fireman	'Give me a sentence about a public servant', said the teacher ...	503	8	0	1.5905
	Pregnant2	Being asked solicitously about the state of her he ...	404	10	0	2.4752
	Premature	'Well,' said the psychiatrist 'I can't cure you of ...	431	15	0	3.4803
	Premed_physics	At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to ta ...	339	9	0	2.6549
	Preparation	"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. ...	416	12	0	2.8846
	Press_agent	Reporter: "I hear you have just hired a press a ...	345	10	0	2.8986
	Pretty	Walking her to the door, Keith said to his date ...	516	20	1	3.6822
	Pretty	Mary: John says i'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. Wh ...	361	9	1	2.2161
	Pretty_pussy	John Smith gets home from work one day and finds h ...	527	11	0	2.0873
	Price	HE: "Would you go to bed with someone for a milli ...	371	12	0	3.2345
	Priest2	Father Flanagan was taking confession one day. ...	502	11	0	2.1912
	Priests Cock	The priest in a small village loved the cock and ten hens he kept ...	707	11	0	1.5559
	Primes	Several students were asked the following problem: ...	368	13	1	3.2609
	Printers	When the dot, hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, ...	461	11	1	2.1692
	Privates	Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates ...	391	11	0	2.8133
	Problem child	A man's wife goes into the delivery room to give birth ...	527	9	1	1.5180
	Problem child	The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist ...	497	20	2	3.6217
	Problem_chart	Problem Solving Flowchart ...	373	11	0	2.9491
	Programr	An architect, an artist and a programmer were disc ...	413	16	1	3.6320
	Prom	A high school senior who was to take the best look ...	425	15	0	3.5294
	Promises	Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave? ...	1170	163	122	3.5043
	Pronouns	Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns ...	414	10	0	2.4155
	Proof	All I ask is a chance to prove ...	616	9	0	1.4610
	Prostitute	Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school ...	495	13	0	2.6263
	Protection	"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant, ...	404	14	0	3.4653
	Psst	One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her ...	537	12	0	2.2346
	Psychic	I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one ...	408	11	0	2.6961
	Psychic Hotline	A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told ...	4860	285	93	3.9506
	Psychic_accident	Hear about the clairvoyant who repaired his fender ...	346	11	0	3.1792
	Psychology	A young man was sitting at a resturaunt bar waiting ...	407	7	0	1.7199
	Psycho_hello	Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One t ...	460	53	106	-11.5217
	Psychs	Two psychiartists with offices in the same buildin ...	1388	72	455	-27.5937
	Puddles	This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying th ...	435	16	1	3.4483
	Pullover	"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. T ...	4201	191	25	3.9514
	Pumpkin	Wadaya get when you take the circumference of your ...	378	9	0	2.3810
	Pumpkin_lust	A man is driving home late one night and is feelin ...	377	12	0	3.1830
	Punctuated_pun	Little Suzy donned her skates, ...	747	23	0	3.0790
	Pussy	Two robins are lying on their backs, soaking up some sun ...	622	17	1	2.5723
	Puthimdown	A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. ...	419	14	0	3.3413
	Pyramid	Why couldn't the Egyptian lady go swimming in the Nile? ...	473	14	0	2.9598
	Seventies disco	How many seventies disco dancers does it take to change ...	435	9	0	2.0690
	Swearing parrot	So there's this fella with a parrot ...	12564	1116	502	4.8870
	White Dress	Dressed in white ...	4074	198	37	3.9519