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Daily Joke Archive

P Jokes

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Parody Parsley Party Penis Pets Pharmacist Phobia Physicist Piano Pilot Pipers Poems Police Porshe Poverty Prank Pray Preacher Preist Present Priest Profession Professions Profit Programmer Psychiatrist Pun Pychiatrist

	Joke	First Line	Views			Score
	24 hours	This guy goes into a doctor's office ...	5051	244	71	3.4251
	Amoebas	How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb ? ...	914	16	2	1.5317
	Anarchists	How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb? ...	536	10	1	1.6791
	Big Screen TV	My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs ...	1012	89	127	-3.7549
	Blonde	A blind man walks into a bar ...	4766	203	39	3.4410
	Blonde	Blonde College ...	958	89	84	0.5219
	Blonde	Blonde ...	1287	69	46	1.7871
	Blonde	There was a blonde driving down the road ...	1635	104	48	3.4251
	C Word	Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next ...	669	15	1	2.0927
	Cheeky Parrot	On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot ...	669	13	2	1.6442
	Painter	The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done ...	1107	118	107	0.9937
	Palm Reader	Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair ...	571	13	1	2.1016
	Pampered cow	What do you get from a pampered cow? ...	646	18	1	2.6316
	Panda	A panda sauntered into the saloon, sat down at the bar ...	616	13	1	1.9481
	Pandemonium	A student teacher had lost control of her classroom ...	671	11	1	1.4903
	Panic	What is the difference between frustration and panic? ...	678	22	1	3.0973
	Paper Airplane	A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked ...	661	13	0	1.9667
	Parents	A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night ...	1016	21	0	2.0669
	Parking	Mildred, the church gossip, self-appointed monitor ...	980	14	0	1.4286
	Parrot	A man received a phone call one day, the caller asking ...	576	10	0	1.7361
	Parrot's language	A Yale English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor ...	512	9	0	1.7578
	Pass card	Any of you have those square electronic keys you press against ...	530	9	0	1.6981
	Pass the pie	Cassie was having her son and his family over for dinner ...	561	12	0	2.1390
	Passing grade	A student comes to a young professor's office hour ...	493	10	0	2.0284
	Passwords	My kids love going to the Web ...	626	12	0	1.9169
	Pat & Mick	Two Irish men Pat and Mick walked into a bar ...	537	40	79	-7.2626
	Patience	A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a ...	584	14	0	2.3973
	Payment	A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS ...	488	7	0	1.4344
	Payphone	A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone ...	485	9	0	1.8557
	Pea Soup	Original Pea Soup joke ...	559	7	0	1.2522
	Peanuts	Two peanuts were walking through the park ...	476	10	0	2.1008
	Peat Moss	A woman went to a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss ...	455	6	0	1.3187
	Pecan Tree	There was a big, old pecan tree inside the cemetery fence ...	547	4	0	0.7313
	Peddler	Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool ...	420	9	0	2.1429
	Pedometer	What does a pedometer measure? ...	515	13	1	2.3301
	Pedophile	A guy walks in the house and finds his wife angrily packing ...	601	15	1	2.3295
	Pedophile	AWhy is a pedophile like the turtle ? ...	550	12	0	2.1818
	Pee Pool	Little Tommy is sent home from school one day ...	665	12	1	1.6541
	Pelican Doctor	The doctors doorbell rang in the middle of the night ...	538	9	0	1.6729
	Penal Accident	Did you hear about the accident between a cement mixer ...	4677	175	14	3.4424
	Pencil	Did you hear about the constipated composer? ...	457	10	0	2.1882
	Penguin_mating	Penguins mate for life. That doesn't surprise me m ...	509	15	0	2.9470
	Penis	Why is the penis a stupid organ? ...	775	20	0	2.5806
	Penis3	Two little boys were in school and the first boy ...	696	14	0	2.0115
	Penis6	What is the insensitive bit at the base of the pen ...	666	10	0	1.5015
	Pennies	Sign seen at a roadside convenience store in Utah: ...	499	15	0	3.0060
	Pensenvy	Penis envy, n: The desire to be pink and wrinkled ...	541	10	0	1.8484
	Perfect	A woman's idea of the perfect man is someone who i ...	1007	21	1	1.9861
	Perfect_pitch	What is the definition of perfect pitch? ...	489	13	0	2.6585
	Pet	A single man wants someone to help him with the ho ...	522	10	0	1.9157
	Peter_n_paul	"Why are you in this particular line of work?" a s ...	465	18	4	3.0108
	Pets	There were two good friends, upon a starship, by t ...	414	12	0	2.8986
	Petting_defined	What's the definition of petting? ...	440	12	0	2.7273
	Pharmisist	A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out ...	537	10	1	1.6760
	Philosopher	What's the difference between a philosopher and an engineer? ...	472	7	0	1.4831
	Phone Bill	Bell Phone Bill ...	436	12	0	2.7523
	Phone?	A young businessman had just started his own firm. ...	440	13	1	2.7273
	Piano	This man walks into a bar with a suitcase. When h ...	2440	94	10	3.4426
	Pianotun	The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discov ...	493	11	0	2.2312
	Picasso	Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work i ...	474	13	0	2.7426
	Pickles	Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been emplo ...	756	15	0	1.9841
	Pickups4	Hey, didn't we go to different high schools? ...	489	13	1	2.4540
	Picture_time	Judi and her friend Jill decided to have their pic ...	443	10	0	2.2573
	Pie	Penn's aunts made great pies at low prices. No on ...	436	10	0	2.2936
	Pig	An ugly woman, with a dog under her arm, walks int ...	507	12	0	2.3669
	Pig Sex	A farmer from Texas was worried that none of his pigs were ...	711	12	0	1.6878
	Pig's cars	where do pigs park their cars? ...	472	15	1	2.9661
	Pig3	John is driving down a road. ...	413	12	0	2.9056
	Piggy	What did Miss Piggy say when Gonzo called her? ...	455	12	0	2.6374
	Pigpole	Where do pigs live at the north pole? In pigloos ...	444	9	0	2.0270
	Pig_beer	A pig walks into a bar. He says,"Give me a beer." ...	484	12	0	2.4793
	Pig_stuck	A bloke is driving around in the Australian bush a ...	445	12	0	2.6966
	Pillow Talk	Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! ...	519	15	0	2.8902
	Pilot	It seems that a young man volunterred for military ...	462	12	0	2.5974
	Pilot_oops	The photographer for a national magazine was assig ...	4009	145	7	3.4423
	Pink_vw	Noticing that her boss' fly was open, the embarras ...	445	10	0	2.2472
	Pinocchio	How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? ...	478	15	1	2.9289
	Pinochio	Pinocchio goes to see his father... ...	432	10	0	2.3148
	Pirate	A young boy dressed as a pirate captain knocked on the door ...	468	13	0	2.7778
	Pirates	Why are pirates called pirates ...	750	7	0	0.9333
	Pitbull	What do you get if you cross a chicken and a pit b ...	436	13	0	2.9817
	Pit_crew	The Ferrari formula one team recently fired thei ...	2530	216	241	-0.9881
	Plane_puke	A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the ...	2353	109	28	3.4424
	Platform	Why did the hooker wear platform shoes? ...	447	13	0	2.9083
	Playboy	Did you hear about the new edition of Playboy for ...	583	17	0	2.9160
	Playgrnd	The Playground ...	454	12	0	2.6432
	Playing church	A man came home and saw his children along with a group ...	6680	257	27	3.4431
	Playing_docto3r	On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her ...	9294	543	223	3.4431
	Playing_doctor	Two kids were trying to figure out what game to pl ...	430	9	0	2.0930
	Playing_doctor3	After discovering her young daughter playing docto ...	607	12	0	1.9769
	Playing_house	A little girl and a little boy were at day care on ...	483	9	0	1.8634
	Playing_mozart	What happened when the school band played Mozart? ...	3691	144	17	3.4408
	Playing_withit	This little old lady calls 911. When the operator ...	498	9	0	1.8072
	Pledge	An 81-year-old woman, an alumna of a fine school ...	651	72	76	-0.6144
	Podiatrists	Did you hear about the two podiatrists who were ar ...	437	14	0	3.2037
	Polarity	Where do polar bears vote? ...	464	15	0	3.2328
	Police Ball	Why do policemen have bigger balls than firemen? ...	469	14	0	2.9851
	Police_test	A young man was taking a verbal test to join the l ...	471	11	0	2.3355
	Polish	Do you know why the new football stadium they buil ...	521	12	0	2.3033
	Polite	An athletic young man, who always kept his basebal ...	426	12	0	2.8169
	Pooh Sex	Winnie, Winnie, where are we going to? asks the Piglet. ...	623	10	0	1.6051
	Poor	Jack and his mother were so poor, they lived under ...	526	12	0	2.2814
	Poor	As the pastor shook hands with the congregation leaving the churc ...	434	9	0	2.0737
	Pope	One day at the Vatican the Pope was bored so he wa ...	480	11	0	2.2917
	Pork sex	Father Murphy and Rabbi Goldberg meet at a convention ...	615	12	0	1.9512
	Porn gas	How can you tell the porno star at the gas station? ...	502	9	0	1.7928
	Porno	Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas ...	560	15	0	2.6786
	Portch	An Irish painter was called to paint a house. The ...	430	10	0	2.3256
	Positions	Hey Doris, what do you say we try a different position tonight? ...	500	16	0	3.2000
	Positive	A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class ...	405	8	0	1.9753
	Positive Outlook	A little old lady was sitting on a park bench ...	748	5	0	0.6684
	Posse	A young lad returned home from school with a disap ...	392	9	0	2.2959
	Postage_stamp	Why was the commemorative postage stamp for prosti ...	382	10	0	2.6178
	Post_office	Q.) What does it mean when the flag is at half mas ...	402	11	0	2.7363
	Potato	If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough ...	418	13	0	3.1100
	Potato	What do you get when you cross a penis with a pota ...	499	10	0	2.0040
	Potatoe	A man goes to the beach to try and pick up girls. ...	1424	66	17	3.4410
	Pow	During World War II, the captured Allied agents of ...	435	12	0	2.7586
	Power	The chief of a poor American Indian tribe .. no pa ...	469	13	0	2.7719
	Prawn Cocktail	A man was hit around the head with a prawn cocktail ...	7001	291	50	3.4424
	Prayer	Do you say a prayer before you eat? ...	12692	473	36	3.4431
	Prayer2	Our program, ...	457	14	1	2.8446
	Pray_rain	At the Sunday service, the minister decided to lea ...	450	14	1	2.8889
	Predictions	How come scientists know that this comet thing will hit ...	1086	112	199	-8.0110
	Pregnant	A couple just started their Lamaze class ...	4762	181	18	3.4229
	Pregnant	On the day before her 12th baby was due, Mrs. Mas ...	506	9	1	1.5810
	Pregnant Bulb	What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? ...	639	17	0	2.6604
	Pregnant fireman	'Give me a sentence about a public servant', said the teacher ...	592	8	0	1.3514
	Pregnant2	Being asked solicitously about the state of her he ...	468	10	0	2.1368
	Premature	'Well,' said the psychiatrist 'I can't cure you of ...	488	15	0	3.0738
	Premed_physics	At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to ta ...	390	9	0	2.3077
	Preparation	"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. ...	477	12	0	2.5157
	Press_agent	Reporter: "I hear you have just hired a press a ...	396	10	0	2.5253
	Pretty	Walking her to the door, Keith said to his date ...	577	20	1	3.2929
	Pretty	Mary: John says i'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. Wh ...	414	9	1	1.9324
	Pretty_pussy	John Smith gets home from work one day and finds h ...	598	11	0	1.8395
	Price	HE: "Would you go to bed with someone for a milli ...	427	12	0	2.8103
	Priest2	Father Flanagan was taking confession one day. ...	559	11	0	1.9678
	Priests Cock	The priest in a small village loved the cock and ten hens he kept ...	766	11	0	1.4360
	Primes	Several students were asked the following problem: ...	420	13	1	2.8571
	Printers	When the dot, hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, ...	510	11	1	1.9608
	Privates	Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates ...	436	11	0	2.5229
	Problem child	A man's wife goes into the delivery room to give birth ...	604	10	1	1.4901
	Problem child	The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist ...	562	20	2	3.2028
	Problem_chart	Problem Solving Flowchart ...	440	11	0	2.5000
	Programr	An architect, an artist and a programmer were disc ...	468	16	1	3.2051
	Prom	A high school senior who was to take the best look ...	492	15	0	3.0488
	Promises	Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave? ...	1225	163	122	3.3469
	Pronouns	Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns ...	473	10	0	2.1142
	Proof	All I ask is a chance to prove ...	676	9	0	1.3314
	Prostitute	Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school ...	571	13	0	2.2767
	Protection	"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant, ...	449	14	0	3.1180
	Psst	One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her ...	614	12	0	1.9544
	Psychic	I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one ...	452	11	0	2.4336
	Psychic Hotline	A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told ...	5665	289	94	3.4422
	Psychic_accident	Hear about the clairvoyant who repaired his fender ...	395	11	0	2.7848
	Psychology	A young man was sitting at a resturaunt bar waiting ...	456	7	0	1.5351
	Psycho_hello	Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One t ...	510	53	106	-10.3922
	Psychs	Two psychiartists with offices in the same buildin ...	1440	72	455	-26.5972
	Puddles	This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying th ...	486	16	1	3.0864
	Pullover	"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. T ...	4734	191	28	3.4432
	Pumpkin	Wadaya get when you take the circumference of your ...	424	9	0	2.1226
	Pumpkin_lust	A man is driving home late one night and is feelin ...	435	12	0	2.7586
	Punctuated_pun	Little Suzy donned her skates, ...	802	23	0	2.8678
	Pussy	Two robins are lying on their backs, soaking up some sun ...	710	17	1	2.2535
	Puthimdown	A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. ...	472	14	0	2.9661
	Pyramid	Why couldn't the Egyptian lady go swimming in the Nile? ...	528	14	0	2.6515
	Seventies disco	How many seventies disco dancers does it take to change ...	486	9	0	1.8519
	Swearing parrot	So there's this fella with a parrot ...	17585	1642	730	5.1862
	White Dress	Dressed in white ...	4735	202	39	3.4424