|
Joke |
First Line |
Views |
 |
 |
Score |
 |
Abort |
Abort, Retry, Ignore (Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe) ... |
1067 |
20 |
1 |
1.7807 |
 |
Access |
From: Saint Peter, To: Everybody ... |
1074 |
11 |
2 |
0.8380 |
 |
Address |
The State of the Union Address (that Clinton *should* have given) ... |
995 |
14 |
2 |
1.2060 |
 |
Af1 |
As Air Force One prepares to land, the Captain mak ... |
708 |
11 |
2 |
1.2712 |
 |
Affairs |
When Clinton was asked what he thought about forei ... |
622 |
9 |
1 |
1.2862 |
 |
AIDS |
Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex. ... |
1144 |
15 |
2 |
1.1364 |
 |
Animal Sounds |
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old ... |
1478 |
16 |
7 |
0.6089 |
 |
Aquitted |
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked ... |
630 |
11 |
0 |
1.7460 |
 |
Bad seats |
There was a Packers fan with ... |
7949 |
562 |
248 |
3.9502 |
 |
Banana |
We had sex education at our school and were shown various films ... |
2339 |
30 |
4 |
1.1116 |
 |
Behind |
I keep hearing people from Clinton's inner circle talk on radio ... |
549 |
13 |
0 |
2.3679 |
 |
Betting |
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy, wanting to buy condoms ... |
1531 |
13 |
2 |
0.7185 |
 |
Bird |
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a ... |
514 |
10 |
0 |
1.9455 |
 |
Cab fare |
One dismal rainy night in London, a taxi driver spotted ... |
729 |
16 |
0 |
2.1948 |
 |
Cabbage |
The little cabbage in the field was consulting its mother about l ... |
555 |
10 |
2 |
1.4414 |
 |
Cabbie |
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him ... |
562 |
12 |
1 |
1.9573 |
 |
Cabbie |
A cab driver picks up a nun. ... |
556 |
10 |
1 |
1.6187 |
 |
Caffiene |
Diane: Would you like a cup of coffee? ... |
560 |
9 |
1 |
1.4286 |
 |
Cake |
He: Have you been eating cake lately? ... |
541 |
10 |
3 |
1.2939 |
 |
Cake Prices |
Seen on a bakery delivery truck: ... |
7898 |
353 |
41 |
3.9504 |
 |
Calulator |
Would you like to buy a pocket calculator sir? ... |
515 |
11 |
0 |
2.1359 |
 |
Camel |
Three Bedouin tribesmen had almost reached the o ... |
491 |
7 |
0 |
1.4257 |
 |
Camel Ride |
I hate riding camels ... |
511 |
6 |
0 |
1.1742 |
 |
Camera |
There was this haunted house on the outskirts of t ... |
485 |
12 |
0 |
2.4742 |
 |
Can Opener |
As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician ... |
2001 |
160 |
183 |
-1.1494 |
 |
Cant_feel |
A man wakes up in hospital and shouts, "Nurse. I c ... |
1105 |
35 |
0 |
3.1674 |
 |
Cant_read |
A young fellow, who was cutting up in the library, ... |
5266 |
222 |
14 |
3.9499 |
 |
Canyon |
If a canyon ate too much...
... |
435 |
11 |
0 |
2.5287 |
 |
Can_hear |
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing pro ... |
9850 |
469 |
79 |
3.9594 |
 |
Capnhook |
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take tu ... |
453 |
9 |
0 |
1.9868 |
 |
Captain |
Could I see the captain of this ship, please? ... |
3141 |
138 |
14 |
3.9478 |
 |
Captain |
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a ... |
434 |
10 |
0 |
2.3041 |
 |
Career_night |
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night d ... |
457 |
12 |
0 |
2.6258 |
 |
Carephob |
A patient had an automobile phobia, and his psychi ... |
423 |
9 |
0 |
2.1277 |
 |
Carpenter |
Who was the first carpenter? ... |
499 |
8 |
1 |
1.4028 |
 |
Carpentry |
Two men in a lorry drove into a lumberyard ... |
459 |
7 |
0 |
1.5251 |
 |
Carpet |
On a bright, warm spring day, somewhere on Vancouv ... |
465 |
9 |
0 |
1.9355 |
 |
Carpe_diem |
Carpe Diem
... |
460 |
9 |
0 |
1.9565 |
 |
Carrot |
A man wanted to buy a pet. He went to a local shop ... |
490 |
12 |
1 |
2.2449 |
 |
Car_pooling |
HUSBAND: "There's trouble with the car. It has wat ... |
502 |
7 |
1 |
1.1952 |
 |
Car_pooling2 |
Hear about the employee who refused to share a rid ... |
418 |
6 |
0 |
1.4354 |
 |
Car_surgeon |
Morris was removing some engine valves from a car ... |
437 |
10 |
0 |
2.2883 |
 |
Cat |
What is the difference between a cat and a comma? ... |
778 |
12 |
1 |
1.4139 |
 |
Cat2 |
A cat with suspected Multiple Personality Disorder ... |
518 |
7 |
2 |
0.9653 |
 |
Cat3 |
Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets he ... |
462 |
10 |
0 |
2.1645 |
 |
Catholic Dog |
A farmer named Clancey lived alone in the Irish countryside ... |
514 |
12 |
1 |
2.1401 |
 |
Cats |
There once were two cats in Kilkenny
... |
475 |
9 |
0 |
1.8947 |
 |
Cats_eyes |
Can cats see in the dark?
... |
659 |
9 |
0 |
1.3657 |
 |
Cats_feel |
Cats know how we feel.
... |
411 |
11 |
0 |
2.6764 |
 |
Catyarn |
Hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?
... |
414 |
10 |
0 |
2.4155 |
 |
Cat_burglar |
I'm learning to be a cat-burglar
... |
426 |
8 |
0 |
1.8779 |
 |
Cat_dead |
What do cats go when they die?
... |
466 |
6 |
1 |
1.0730 |
 |
Cat_duck |
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
... |
496 |
12 |
0 |
2.4194 |
 |
Cat_fish |
Pete: Have you ever seen a catfish?
... |
377 |
8 |
0 |
2.1220 |
 |
Cat_luck |
A black and white cat crossed my path this morning ... |
420 |
9 |
0 |
2.1429 |
 |
Cat_meat |
Customer: Do you sell cats meat?
... |
419 |
7 |
0 |
1.6706 |
 |
Cat_parts |
A Psuchiatrist was examining a new pataient's gras ... |
416 |
9 |
0 |
2.1635 |
 |
Cat_scan |
There was a man whose dog had died. Before he bur ... |
438 |
8 |
0 |
1.8265 |
 |
Cat_train |
What do you call a cat that travels by train?
... |
408 |
8 |
0 |
1.9608 |
 |
Cat_wool |
What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of ... |
403 |
8 |
0 |
1.9851 |
 |
Caught |
Have you ever been caught smelling your mum's knickers ? ... |
3013 |
133 |
14 |
3.9496 |
 |
Cave Support |
The tech support problem dates back to long before ... |
665 |
10 |
0 |
1.5038 |
 |
Ceiling |
A young school teacher rushed into the headmasters office ... |
765 |
19 |
0 |
2.4837 |
 |
Celebrate |
Brother Harold was a monk who had worked all his l ... |
432 |
9 |
0 |
2.0833 |
 |
Census |
An old man was setting on his porch, when a young ... |
433 |
6 |
0 |
1.3857 |
 |
Centipede |
A centipede is an inchworm
... |
379 |
9 |
0 |
2.3747 |
 |
Central_banker |
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a ... |
462 |
8 |
0 |
1.7316 |
 |
Chainsaw |
A Norwegian friend of mine told me that a Swedish ... |
388 |
6 |
0 |
1.5464 |
 |
Chameleon |
My greatest contribution to humor came when I taug ... |
382 |
8 |
0 |
2.0942 |
 |
Chance |
A family owns a beautiful piano, but needs it tune ... |
439 |
11 |
0 |
2.5057 |
 |
Changed |
A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her ... |
401 |
10 |
0 |
2.4938 |
 |
Chase Manhatten |
A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ... |
523 |
12 |
0 |
2.2945 |
 |
Chauvinist Pig |
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig ... |
892 |
60 |
150 |
-10.0897 |
 |
Cheap Car |
A car salesman trying to 'influence' a senator by offering him ... |
379 |
8 |
0 |
2.1108 |
 |
Cheap Cruise |
A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign ... |
526 |
14 |
1 |
2.4715 |
 |
Cheap_tooth |
What kind of teeth can you get for a dollar?
... |
374 |
7 |
0 |
1.8717 |
 |
Cheap_whore |
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostit ... |
438 |
9 |
0 |
2.0548 |
 |
Cheat |
My girlfriend is such a cheat and a liar ... |
879 |
15 |
2 |
1.4790 |
 |
Cheat01 |
Two women were discussing the problems with their ... |
438 |
8 |
0 |
1.8265 |
 |
Cheater |
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's ... |
424 |
9 |
0 |
2.1226 |
 |
Cheating |
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's ... |
456 |
13 |
0 |
2.8509 |
 |
Cheating2 |
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in ... |
438 |
9 |
0 |
2.0548 |
 |
Chemist |
How do you tell a Chemist from any other scientist ... |
597 |
9 |
0 |
1.5075 |
 |
Chemists |
Two chemists meet for the first time at a symposiu ... |
461 |
9 |
0 |
1.9523 |
 |
Cheque |
I once had food in a Chinese restaurant. I opened up my fortune ... |
3027 |
269 |
182 |
2.8741 |
 |
Cheque |
Danny took his Social Security check to the bank f ... |
368 |
8 |
0 |
2.1739 |
 |
Chess |
My computer beat me at chess. ... |
745 |
14 |
0 |
1.8792 |
 |
Chess |
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a ho ... |
481 |
8 |
0 |
1.6632 |
 |
Chess2 |
Have you heard about South African chess? It's a ... |
356 |
10 |
0 |
2.8090 |
 |
Chess_moves |
A well-known chess master took his six-year-old so ... |
395 |
8 |
0 |
2.0253 |
 |
Chevy |
Tired of asking the same old questions of the day' ... |
461 |
8 |
0 |
1.7354 |
 |
Chicken |
The U.S. Army attempts to explain the question:Â W ... |
421 |
8 |
0 |
1.9002 |
 |
Chicken Recipee |
A waiter asks a man, "May I take your order, sir?" ... |
811 |
18 |
0 |
2.2195 |
 |
Chicken3 |
A librarian is working away at her desk when she n ... |
391 |
9 |
0 |
2.3018 |
 |
Chickenegg |
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
... |
414 |
7 |
0 |
1.6908 |
 |
Chicken_clothes |
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks ov ... |
395 |
10 |
0 |
2.5316 |
 |
Chicken_count |
Ernest sees his friend Jethro coming down the dirt ... |
366 |
9 |
0 |
2.4590 |
 |
Chicken_dating |
Hear about the dating agency for chickens?
... |
935 |
67 |
228 |
-17.2193 |
 |
Chicken_place |
Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken ... |
409 |
9 |
0 |
2.2005 |
 |
Chick_n_egg |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
... |
589 |
36 |
25 |
1.8676 |
 |
Chinese_cat |
What do you get if you cross an alley cat with a C ... |
450 |
7 |
0 |
1.5556 |
 |
Chinese_mail |
Then there was the small Chinese island which fina ... |
388 |
12 |
0 |
3.0928 |
 |
Chin_up |
A sweet old lady, always eager to help the needy, ... |
360 |
7 |
0 |
1.9444 |
 |
Chknfrog |
A chicken walked into a bookshop, up to the counte ... |
443 |
6 |
0 |
1.3544 |
 |
Choices |
Well, it's happened again. Big problem. All the ba ... |
438 |
7 |
0 |
1.5982 |
 |
Chopstck Troubles |
Remember Mark Hamill from Star Wars ... |
6987 |
322 |
46 |
3.9502 |
 |
Christians |
How many Christians does it take to change a light ... |
6810 |
312 |
43 |
3.9501 |
 |
Christmas Fiasco |
And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary ... |
486 |
9 |
1 |
1.6461 |
 |
Christmas_letter |
A little boy wanted a new bike for Christmas. His ... |
629 |
11 |
1 |
1.5898 |
 |
Chromosomes |
How do you tell the difference between male & female chromosomes ... |
480 |
8 |
0 |
1.6667 |
 |
Chromosones |
How do you tell the difference between male chromo ... |
438 |
10 |
0 |
2.2831 |
 |
Church2 |
We were all in Chartres to see the famous Gothic c ... |
708 |
28 |
2 |
3.6723 |
 |
Church3 |
At the conclusion of a church service, three young ... |
381 |
10 |
0 |
2.6247 |
 |
Church4 |
A young man applied for a job, bringing with him g ... |
367 |
7 |
0 |
1.9074 |
 |
Church_offerings |
A little child in church for the first time watche ... |
390 |
9 |
0 |
2.3077 |
 |
Cia |
Three guys are finalists for one position with the ... |
366 |
9 |
0 |
2.4590 |
 |
Cig |
This man has this dog that has no legs. One day so ... |
381 |
11 |
0 |
2.8871 |
 |
Cinder |
Cinderella is all excited about going to the big b ... |
381 |
7 |
0 |
1.8373 |
 |
Cinderella Story |
What did Cinderella say when the photo shop lost her negatives ... |
1061 |
14 |
0 |
1.3195 |
 |
Cinderellas_ball |
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
... |
366 |
10 |
0 |
2.7322 |
 |
Circus |
HUMAN CANNONBALL: "That does it, I quit!"
... |
374 |
9 |
0 |
2.4064 |
 |
City hall |
'City hall,' said the phone operator, answering a call ... |
342 |
7 |
0 |
2.0468 |
 |
City Workers |
How do you identify a city worker's kids on the playground ... |
1671 |
175 |
109 |
3.9497 |
 |
City_slicker |
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he ... |
351 |
8 |
0 |
2.2792 |
 |
City_work |
There were two guys working for the city. One wou ... |
354 |
7 |
0 |
1.9774 |
 |
Civil Servant |
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their dads ... |
368 |
8 |
0 |
2.1739 |
 |
Cleanup |
Seems there were a pack of wild dogs that roamed a ... |
359 |
10 |
0 |
2.7855 |
 |
Clean_leopard |
Did you hear about the leopards that keeps itself ... |
362 |
11 |
0 |
3.0387 |
 |
Clean_living |
In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the ... |
342 |
9 |
0 |
2.6316 |
 |
Clean_sweep |
A friend and I were standing inside a building of ... |
342 |
9 |
0 |
2.6316 |
 |
Cleopatra |
Why did Cleopatra always say no? ... |
6786 |
292 |
24 |
3.9493 |
 |
Cleveland |
Don't feel bad because you live in Cleveland ... |
374 |
9 |
0 |
2.4064 |
 |
Clinton Stew |
What's the recipe for Clinton Stew? ... |
532 |
15 |
1 |
2.6316 |
 |
Clinton1 |
Hillary came into the room with a big smile and a ... |
681 |
10 |
0 |
1.4684 |
 |
Clinton2 |
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter t ... |
575 |
9 |
0 |
1.5652 |
 |
Clinton3 |
One day, Clinton called the White House interior d ... |
513 |
10 |
0 |
1.9493 |
 |
Clinton4 |
What does Bill say to Hillary after having sex?
... |
612 |
10 |
1 |
1.4706 |
 |
Clinton5 |
Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who get ... |
506 |
12 |
0 |
2.3715 |
 |
Clinton7 |
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of ... |
608 |
53 |
29 |
3.9474 |
 |
Clintons_other |
Another woman claiming sexual relations with Bill ... |
564 |
11 |
1 |
1.7730 |
 |
Clinton_abortion |
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Ov ... |
475 |
8 |
0 |
1.6842 |
 |
Clinton_advice |
Clinton, distraught and contemplating his latest s ... |
464 |
11 |
0 |
2.3707 |
 |
Clinton_guess |
During a interview Paula Jones was asked if her ex ... |
461 |
11 |
0 |
2.3861 |
 |
Clinton_irs |
One of my students recently told me that Bill Clin ... |
436 |
10 |
0 |
2.2936 |
 |
Clinton_monica |
AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released toda ... |
502 |
11 |
1 |
1.9920 |
 |
Clinton_mouth |
Q. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's ... |
451 |
11 |
0 |
2.4390 |
 |
Clinton_of_oz |
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and President Clinton al ... |
433 |
10 |
0 |
2.3095 |
 |
Clinton_patch |
... |
401 |
10 |
0 |
2.4938 |
 |
Clinton_pitch |
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of ... |
411 |
11 |
0 |
2.6764 |
 |
Clinton_probe |
If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, what is wro ... |
411 |
11 |
0 |
2.6764 |
 |
Clinton_remembered |
How will history remember Bill Clinton?
... |
411 |
9 |
0 |
2.1898 |
 |
Clinton_russia |
As regards Lewinskey, I thought it was most genero ... |
406 |
8 |
0 |
1.9704 |
 |
Clinton_stew |
What's the recipe for Clinton Stew?
... |
380 |
8 |
0 |
2.1053 |
 |
Clinton_whore |
Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton ... |
443 |
13 |
0 |
2.9345 |
 |
Clinton_whore2 |
Why doesn’t Bill Clinton play the Sax any more?
... |
464 |
9 |
0 |
1.9397 |
 |
Clin_cover |
Doesn't Clinton realize that a coverup always gets ... |
375 |
10 |
0 |
2.6667 |
 |
Clin_flower |
What does Gennifer Flowers do when she misses Bill ... |
380 |
8 |
0 |
2.1053 |
 |
Clin_free |
Clinton: "I will consult both sides of the issue o ... |
356 |
9 |
0 |
2.5281 |
 |
Clin_heckle |
Yesterday Clinton was in New Jersey and...he was h ... |
395 |
10 |
0 |
2.5316 |
 |
Clin_hooker |
One day, about a month ago, Jimmy Carter, Presiden ... |
544 |
10 |
1 |
1.6544 |
 |
Clin_insane |
How can you tell that the guy who attacked the Whi ... |
490 |
15 |
27 |
-2.4490 |
 |
Clin_movies |
Why is Bill Clinton apprehensive about going to th ... |
398 |
11 |
0 |
2.7638 |
 |
Clip_clop |
What goes clip clop clip clop bang bang bang clip ... |
344 |
9 |
0 |
2.6163 |
 |
Closer_shave |
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the b ... |
3242 |
211 |
83 |
3.9482 |
 |
Clown |
There was a man who had a brother who was well kno ... |
347 |
9 |
0 |
2.5937 |
 |
Coast_clearing |
A man's business trip is cancelled and he is at ho ... |
427 |
12 |
0 |
2.8103 |
 |
Cock Fights |
The South Carolina State Police received reports of illegal cock ... |
429 |
16 |
0 |
3.7296 |
 |
Cocktails |
Do you like cocktails?" ... |
372 |
11 |
0 |
2.9570 |
 |
Coffee |
HE: Jeez, this coffee tastes like mud!
... |
355 |
10 |
0 |
2.8169 |
 |
Coffee |
Cousin Elly is the world's worst at getting instructions mixed up ... |
401 |
14 |
0 |
3.4913 |
 |
Coffee_money |
A man comes into a cafe, orders a coffee, 75 cents ... |
384 |
46 |
49 |
-0.7813 |
 |
Coffin |
What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
... |
1371 |
13 |
0 |
0.9482 |
 |
Coin_in_ass |
A man goes to see his doctor feeling a bit unwell. ... |
425 |
7 |
0 |
1.6471 |
 |
Cold_outside |
We often say: "Close the window, it's cold outside ... |
390 |
6 |
0 |
1.5385 |
 |
Coleslaw |
Cole's Law: Thinly shredded cabbage
... |
332 |
11 |
0 |
3.3133 |
 |
College |
A college's student body is composed of ... |
683 |
104 |
265 |
-23.5725 |
 |
College_players |
What do collegiate football players usually get on ... |
429 |
6 |
0 |
1.3986 |
 |
Colosseum |
Mr. and Mrs. McKee, vacationing in Rome, were bein ... |
344 |
7 |
0 |
2.0349 |
 |
Colourful Accident |
A boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint ... |
552 |
2 |
0 |
0.3623 |
 |
Coma |
A woman was in a car accident and subsequently l ... |
875 |
12 |
0 |
1.3714 |
 |
Come_car |
A young boy is approached by a man in a car.
... |
359 |
10 |
0 |
2.7855 |
 |
Come_first |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken ... |
355 |
10 |
0 |
2.8169 |
 |
Come_this_way |
A woman goes into a pharmacy, and walks down the ... |
350 |
9 |
0 |
2.5714 |
 |
Come_to_me |
This girl goes into a department store and asks to ... |
403 |
10 |
0 |
2.4814 |
 |
Come_true |
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get ... |
337 |
8 |
0 |
2.3739 |
 |
Common |
What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in commo ... |
385 |
9 |
0 |
2.3377 |
 |
Compass |
Once upon a time there was a young entrepreneur na ... |
333 |
6 |
0 |
1.8018 |
 |
Complain |
I want to complain about this airline ... |
339 |
7 |
0 |
2.0649 |
 |
Computer journalists |
How many computer journalists does it take to screw ... |
705 |
8 |
1 |
0.9929 |
 |
Computer Sex |
I looked at her and she was beautiful ... |
1244 |
13 |
4 |
0.7235 |
 |
Computer Shit |
Shit happens in different computers... ... |
706 |
9 |
1 |
1.1331 |
 |
Computer? |
A 6-year-old first-grader, came home from his first day of school ... |
670 |
12 |
1 |
1.6418 |
 |
Computers |
Why do men love computers? ... |
1295 |
12 |
2 |
0.7722 |
 |
Concert |
What does an audience experience at a Liberace or Elton John ... |
315 |
6 |
0 |
1.9048 |
 |
Condor |
A guy gets stranded in the California desert for several weeks ... |
339 |
11 |
0 |
3.2448 |
 |
Condo_kid |
California is loaded with condos. One kid was ask ... |
577 |
9 |
0 |
1.5598 |
 |
Conductor |
The Philedelphia Orchestra is having a rehersal. ... |
504 |
10 |
0 |
1.9841 |
 |
Conductors new |
It's Saturday night and the local orchestra is giving a concert ... |
502 |
12 |
0 |
2.3904 |
 |
Confuse |
How many Confucianists does it take to change a li ... |
373 |
8 |
0 |
2.1448 |
 |
Confused_blonde |
Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?
... |
435 |
8 |
0 |
1.8391 |
 |
Coniving Dog |
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa ... |
382 |
8 |
0 |
2.0942 |
 |
Constipated |
97% of all constipated people ... |
390 |
13 |
6 |
1.7949 |
 |
Consultant |
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey ... |
398 |
11 |
0 |
2.7638 |
 |
Contacts |
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license ... |
349 |
10 |
0 |
2.8653 |
 |
Contest |
This guy walks into a pub and sees a glass case wi ... |
359 |
10 |
0 |
2.7855 |
 |
Contest2 |
There was a man who loved to make up puns. One da ... |
3515 |
164 |
411 |
-7.0270 |
 |
Convention |
A representative for a condom company was on her way ... |
1193 |
9 |
1 |
0.6706 |
 |
Cookoo |
There's this guy who ALWAYS wanted a cuckoo clock, ... |
340 |
8 |
0 |
2.3529 |
 |
Coop |
Why doesn't a chicken coop have four doors?
... |
320 |
8 |
0 |
2.5000 |
 |
Cops_and_cpr |
A lady had just finished doing her CPR course and ... |
350 |
9 |
0 |
2.5714 |
 |
Cornet |
Eddie Dickens bought a cornet and was trying to le ... |
1134 |
47 |
290 |
-21.4286 |
 |
Corvette |
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10 spee ... |
339 |
7 |
0 |
2.0649 |
 |
Cost Cutting |
A big company offered $50 for money saving ideas ... |
6405 |
311 |
58 |
3.9500 |
 |
Costume Idea |
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear ... |
605 |
5 |
1 |
0.6612 |
 |
Cotton_thief |
Hear about the cotton thief..
... |
322 |
8 |
0 |
2.4845 |
 |
Count |
The farmer and his wife had worked hard, they scrimped and saved ... |
335 |
9 |
0 |
2.6866 |
 |
Countries |
Waitress: Hawaii, sir? You must be Hungary.
... |
688 |
9 |
1 |
1.1628 |
 |
Country_cow |
I was driving through the country, and there were ... |
362 |
9 |
0 |
2.4862 |
 |
Country_life |
A man is driving through a rural area and stops at ... |
352 |
12 |
0 |
3.4091 |
 |
Country_music |
This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants ... |
450 |
9 |
0 |
2.0000 |
 |
Couple |
A couple are lying in bed one night when the husba ... |
556 |
11 |
0 |
1.9784 |
 |
Coupon heaven |
While handing a 25 cent-off coupon ... |
511 |
9 |
1 |
1.5656 |
 |
Cow |
What do you call a cow that has had an abortion? D ... |
364 |
10 |
0 |
2.7473 |
 |
Cow2 |
How does a rancher manage his accounts? On a cowcu ... |
324 |
10 |
0 |
3.0864 |
 |
Cowabort |
what do you call a cow that has had an abortion ? ... |
336 |
9 |
0 |
2.6786 |
 |
Cowleg1 |
What do you call a cow with no legs?
... |
762 |
18 |
0 |
2.3622 |
 |
Cows |
I was driving through the country, and there were some cows ... |
412 |
10 |
0 |
2.4272 |
 |
Cows2 |
... |
378 |
10 |
0 |
2.6455 |
 |
Cow_costume |
A farmer and his wife were running late for a fanc ... |
356 |
12 |
0 |
3.3708 |
 |
Cow_man |
One day a salesman stopped by the Tom Jenkins farm ... |
331 |
9 |
0 |
2.7190 |
 |
Cow_pills |
Old man Frank goes and gets a loan from the bank t ... |
338 |
8 |
0 |
2.3669 |
 |
Crash_bang |
When flying into Dayton, Ohio a few years back, ou ... |
374 |
5 |
0 |
1.3369 |
 |
Crazy |
Do you want to drive somebody crazy? Send him a ... |
346 |
10 |
0 |
2.8902 |
 |
Crazy_fleas |
What do you call crazy fleas?
... |
331 |
9 |
0 |
2.7190 |
 |
Crazy_people |
Where do crazy people walk in the woods??
... |
342 |
10 |
0 |
2.9240 |
 |
Cricket |
The English cricket team has accepted a new sponso ... |
332 |
7 |
0 |
2.1084 |
 |
Cricket_ball |
Guy goes into the doctor's.
... |
340 |
10 |
0 |
2.9412 |
 |
Criminals |
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office ... |
657 |
5 |
1 |
0.6088 |
 |
Crisps |
A man walks into a shop and asks for a packet of h ... |
318 |
9 |
0 |
2.8302 |
 |
Crooked |
What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer wi ... |
481 |
8 |
0 |
1.6632 |
 |
Cross2 |
But why did the chicken cross the road again?
... |
348 |
10 |
0 |
2.8736 |
 |
Crossing |
What do you get when you cross The Atlantic with the Titanic ... |
7899 |
340 |
28 |
3.9499 |
 |
Crossnun |
Two nuns are driving home one dark and stormy nigh ... |
424 |
11 |
0 |
2.5943 |
 |
Crossplay |
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
... |
350 |
11 |
0 |
3.1429 |
 |
Cross_beach |
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
... |
319 |
8 |
0 |
2.5078 |
 |
Cross_cat |
What do you get when you cross a chick with an all ... |
327 |
7 |
0 |
2.1407 |
 |
Cross_court |
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
... |
335 |
9 |
0 |
2.6866 |
 |
Cross_eyed |
Hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
... |
4963 |
224 |
28 |
3.9492 |
 |
Cross_jim |
Why did Jim Morrison cross the road?
... |
332 |
6 |
0 |
1.8072 |
 |
Cross_parrot |
What do you get if you cross a parrot and a centip ... |
310 |
8 |
0 |
2.5806 |
 |
Crowd Pleaser |
The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony ... |
365 |
12 |
0 |
3.2877 |
 |
Cruise |
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise ... |
1257 |
12 |
0 |
0.9547 |
 |
Cruise |
A guy books a two-week cruise for himself and his ... |
347 |
8 |
0 |
2.3055 |
 |
Crushed Nuts |
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor ... |
410 |
4 |
0 |
0.9756 |
 |
Cr_parrot |
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a cen ... |
324 |
9 |
0 |
2.7778 |
 |
Culture |
Cultural Differences Explained ... |
542 |
9 |
0 |
1.6605 |
 |
Curiosity |
Curiosity killed the cat,
... |
334 |
10 |
0 |
2.9940 |
 |
Curlers |
My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it ... |
343 |
6 |
0 |
1.7493 |
 |
Customs |
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his ... |
373 |
10 |
0 |
2.6810 |
 |
Cutains |
A man tells his doctor, "l feel like a pair of cur ... |
351 |
8 |
0 |
2.2792 |
 |
Cuttrees |
Jules hears that a fortune could be made by worki ... |
546 |
8 |
0 |
1.4652 |
 |
Cybersex |
The New Version of the Birds and Bees ... |
1081 |
15 |
0 |
1.3876 |
 |
Cynics |
Cynics approach to Love ... |
351 |
10 |
0 |
2.8490 |
 |
C_n_w |
A fellow goes to the doctor and tells the doctor t ... |
359 |
7 |
0 |
1.9499 |
 |
Dead |
Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? ... |
1520 |
64 |
293 |
-15.0658 |
 |
Dead Cat |
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley ... |
840 |
22 |
1 |
2.5000 |
 |
Dead Cat |
Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same t ... |
528 |
7 |
0 |
1.3258 |
 |
Dead_cat |
Once upon a time, a woman had a faithful cat. And ... |
498 |
8 |
1 |
1.4056 |
 |
Dead_cat2 |
When the cat was run over by a car, the mother qui ... |
552 |
12 |
0 |
2.1739 |
 |
Dealers |
Software Developers compared to Drug Dealers ... |
509 |
12 |
0 |
2.3576 |
 |
Deductable |
Are birth control pills deductible?
... |
1150 |
13 |
0 |
1.1304 |
 |
Deep_throught |
How ironic... this is the second time in history a ... |
372 |
8 |
0 |
2.1505 |
 |
Democrat |
When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Demo ... |
402 |
8 |
0 |
1.9900 |
 |
Developers |
How many developers does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
803 |
18 |
0 |
2.2416 |
 |
Developers |
How many Developers does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
658 |
15 |
0 |
2.2796 |
 |
Developers |
How many Developers does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
677 |
26 |
0 |
3.8405 |
 |
Developers |
How many Developers does it take to change a light bulb ... |
583 |
13 |
0 |
2.2298 |
 |
Dinner |
Why didn't Bill take Monica out to dinner? ... |
398 |
8 |
0 |
2.0101 |
 |
Dr. Seuss |
If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals... ... |
550 |
14 |
0 |
2.5455 |
 |
Draft |
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its li ... |
661 |
9 |
0 |
1.3616 |
 |
Drinking Song |
The Programmer's Drinking Song ... |
505 |
9 |
0 |
1.7822 |
 |
Drink_or_sex |
Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton ... |
496 |
11 |
0 |
2.2177 |
 |
Drums Stop |
A man (call him Horace) went on a safari in darkest Africa ... |
645 |
10 |
0 |
1.5504 |
 |
Euthenasia |
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton repli ... |
399 |
10 |
0 |
2.5063 |
 |
Excuse |
What was Clinton's excuse this time?
... |
357 |
10 |
0 |
2.8011 |
 |
Extra Large |
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist ... |
1330 |
16 |
0 |
1.2030 |
 |
F1 |
Once a programmer drowned in the sea ... |
507 |
10 |
1 |
1.7751 |
 |
First |
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every ... |
598 |
9 |
0 |
1.5050 |
 |
Flat tire |
An engineer, a mathematician, and a computer programmer ... |
526 |
8 |
0 |
1.5209 |
 |
Floppies |
A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining ... |
814 |
9 |
0 |
1.1057 |
 |
Flower Shop |
A man stopped at a florist shop after work ... |
494 |
3 |
0 |
0.6073 |
 |
Football |
The White House interns challenged the President t ... |
536 |
9 |
0 |
1.6791 |
 |
Friends |
Who were Monica's closest friends during her inter ... |
368 |
10 |
0 |
2.7174 |
 |
Fun |
36 Ways to have fun ... |
562 |
11 |
0 |
1.9573 |
 |
Gigalo |
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a g ... |
411 |
9 |
0 |
2.1898 |
 |
Grit |
What do you call grit in a condom? ... |
1141 |
10 |
1 |
0.7888 |
 |
Hacker |
Signs that a Coworker is a Hacker ... |
665 |
10 |
0 |
1.5038 |
 |
Head_intern1 |
How can you tell which one of the White House inte ... |
367 |
10 |
0 |
2.7248 |
 |
Head_intern2 |
What was President Clinton's explanation for havin ... |
561 |
11 |
0 |
1.9608 |
 |
Hell |
A computer scientist died and was immediately sent to hell ... |
638 |
9 |
1 |
1.2539 |
 |
Helpdesk |
Computer Problem Report Form ... |
567 |
10 |
0 |
1.7637 |
 |
Horse Training |
A preacher trained his horse ... |
1444 |
99 |
42 |
3.9474 |
 |
IBM |
What's the difference between Jurassic Park and IBM? ... |
706 |
13 |
0 |
1.8414 |
 |
Install |
An IBM customer had troubles installing software ... |
768 |
7 |
0 |
0.9115 |
 |
Internview |
Being that all the crap about her alleged affair w ... |
369 |
8 |
0 |
2.1680 |
 |
Interupting Cow |
Knock knock ... |
582 |
22 |
0 |
3.7801 |
 |
Irs |
A man died and found himself instantly in the midd ... |
346 |
10 |
0 |
2.8902 |
 |
Jobs & Satan |
Steve Jobs & Satan announce deal ... |
495 |
14 |
0 |
2.8283 |
 |
Junk |
Outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high ... |
836 |
73 |
40 |
3.9474 |
 |
Keyboard |
A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked ... |
826 |
8 |
1 |
0.8475 |
 |
Kodak |
What do Kodak and condoms have in common? ... |
1188 |
11 |
0 |
0.9259 |
 |
Language |
What language do all programmers know? ... |
1538 |
104 |
260 |
-10.1430 |
 |
Laws |
Computer related laws, theorems and axims ... |
487 |
13 |
0 |
2.6694 |
 |
Lies |
In the computer industry, there are three kinds of lies ... |
432 |
7 |
0 |
1.6204 |
 |
LISP |
How many Lisp programmers does it take to change a ... |
517 |
9 |
1 |
1.5474 |
 |
Louise |
Christmas with Louise ... |
846 |
14 |
0 |
1.6548 |
 |
Lying |
A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lyin ... |
1217 |
85 |
37 |
3.9441 |
 |
Male |
Top 10 reasons Computers are male: ... |
670 |
13 |
0 |
1.9403 |
 |
Married_names |
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono ... |
903 |
15 |
0 |
1.6611 |
 |
Microsoft Technicians |
How many Microsoft Technicians does it take ... |
676 |
5 |
15 |
-1.4793 |
 |
Midget |
What happens if you cross a midget and a computer? ... |
493 |
9 |
0 |
1.8256 |
 |
Milk |
Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction? ... |
514 |
9 |
1 |
1.5564 |
 |
Monicas_dentist |
What did Monica's dentist say?
... |
496 |
9 |
0 |
1.8145 |
 |
Monicas_resume |
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
... |
359 |
9 |
0 |
2.5070 |
 |
Monica_nixon |
What do Monica Lewenski & Richard Nixon have in co ... |
351 |
10 |
0 |
2.8490 |
 |
Mouse |
AST technical support had a caller complaining ... |
727 |
13 |
0 |
1.7882 |
 |
Mouse |
A mother mouse and her three children crept out ... |
389 |
10 |
0 |
2.5707 |
 |
Mouser |
Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day ... |
3466 |
234 |
352 |
-3.4045 |
 |
Mouth |
What did Bill say when asked about coaching Monica ... |
350 |
11 |
0 |
3.1429 |
 |
MS Car |
Top ten ways that life would be different if Microsoft built cars ... |
592 |
12 |
0 |
2.0270 |
 |
MSN 10 |
TOP TEN SLOGANS FOR THE MICROSOFT NETWORK ... |
744 |
10 |
0 |
1.3441 |
 |
Neglect |
"One thing's for sure about Clinton...
... |
345 |
11 |
0 |
3.1884 |
 |
New Shoes |
Roy was entertaining a friend in his living room. ... |
1067 |
28 |
71 |
-4.0300 |
 |
New_game |
What's the new game they're playing in the White H ... |
326 |
11 |
0 |
3.3742 |
 |
Nightmare |
What is Clinton's worst nightmare?
... |
349 |
11 |
0 |
3.1519 |
 |
Nipples |
A man visits factory. A Machine drops liquid rubber globules ... |
1338 |
12 |
2 |
0.7474 |
 |
Nixon & Clinton |
Similarities between Nixon and Clinton ... |
406 |
9 |
0 |
2.2167 |
 |
No Penis |
There was a hedgehog who lost his male member one day ... |
1365 |
51 |
407 |
-26.0806 |
 |
No_sex |
Bill Clinton and his daughter were out for a walk. ... |
541 |
12 |
0 |
2.2181 |
 |
Old men |
Did you hear about the new condom trojan came out with ... |
1221 |
10 |
1 |
0.7371 |
 |
Olympic |
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condom ... |
5953 |
60 |
0 |
1.0079 |
 |
Open Windows |
Computers are like air conditioners ... |
1021 |
9 |
4 |
0.4897 |
 |
Open_up |
WHAT DID BILL CLINTON SAY TO MONICA LEWINSKY AFTER ... |
389 |
9 |
1 |
2.0566 |
 |
Org Chart |
What The Organizational Chart Doesn't Tell You ... |
555 |
14 |
0 |
2.5225 |
 |
Orgasm |
What does Hillary say to Bill when she's having an ... |
423 |
9 |
0 |
2.1277 |
 |
Packs |
The son asks, Dad, what's the three pack for? ... |
1214 |
14 |
0 |
1.1532 |
 |
Party Guests |
These guys were invited to a party - their reactions ... |
393 |
11 |
0 |
2.7990 |
 |
PC Goose |
Mother McGee went to drive C: ... |
380 |
9 |
0 |
2.3684 |
 |
Penises |
The wives of four presidents and prime minister ar ... |
433 |
11 |
0 |
2.5404 |
 |
Perception |
Gerald Ford, Ronald Regan, and Bill Clinton are gi ... |
327 |
10 |
0 |
3.0581 |
 |
Pet |
A single man wants someone to help him with the ho ... |
456 |
10 |
0 |
2.1930 |
 |
Pickup Lines |
267 pick up lines ... |
1208 |
10 |
0 |
0.8278 |
 |
Pink_slip |
Why was it difficult for Clinton to fire Monica Le ... |
332 |
9 |
0 |
2.7108 |
 |
Pit bull collie |
cross a pit bull with a collie? ... |
361 |
7 |
0 |
1.9391 |
 |
Plastic_surgery |
Hillary Clinton says, "Bill, now the press is sayi ... |
479 |
41 |
51 |
-2.0877 |
 |
Polling |
When Ken Starr asked Clinton what he was doing wit ... |
298 |
18 |
20 |
-0.6711 |
 |
Ponderings 2 |
Some things to think about ... |
681 |
25 |
0 |
3.6711 |
 |
Position |
What position did Monica Lewinsky have at the Whit ... |
334 |
10 |
0 |
2.9940 |
 |
Prayer |
The Computer Persons Prayer ... |
498 |
10 |
0 |
2.0080 |
 |
Pres |
The wives of four presidents and prime minister ar ... |
391 |
9 |
0 |
2.3018 |
 |
Printing |
A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents ... |
734 |
8 |
0 |
1.0899 |
 |
Probe |
Today's headline read: "Clinton Probe Expands".
... |
566 |
23 |
28 |
-0.8834 |
 |
Public |
What did Clinton say when Paula Jones went public ... |
341 |
10 |
0 |
2.9326 |
 |
Pussy |
Two robins are lying on their backs, soaking up some sun ... |
622 |
17 |
1 |
2.5723 |
 |
QA Techs |
How many QA Techs does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
881 |
33 |
0 |
3.7457 |
 |
RSVP's |
RSVP's we that may have been... ... |
373 |
7 |
0 |
1.8767 |
 |
Sack cook |
Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner ... |
362 |
12 |
0 |
3.3149 |
 |
Save_spot |
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at ... |
363 |
12 |
0 |
3.3058 |
 |
Scandal |
What's the new press name for the latest President ... |
334 |
11 |
0 |
3.2934 |
 |
Screwdriver |
What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver? ... |
368 |
10 |
0 |
2.7174 |
 |
Screwdriver |
What is the difference between Bill clinton and a screwdriver. ... |
389 |
10 |
0 |
2.5707 |
 |
Security |
What kind of security did Monica Lewinsky have at ... |
334 |
9 |
0 |
2.6946 |
 |
Smart cat |
This woman was visiting her friend when a cat walked in ... |
518 |
11 |
0 |
2.1236 |
 |
Smileys :) |
The Smiley Gallery (:-) ... |
576 |
12 |
0 |
2.0833 |
 |
Sounds |
The teacher asked Mary ... |
680 |
8 |
0 |
1.1765 |
 |
Spelling chequer |
Eye halve a spelling chequer ... |
397 |
7 |
0 |
1.7632 |
 |
Starr |
If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe...
... |
604 |
19 |
42 |
-3.8079 |
 |
Stealth |
Did you hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
... |
1072 |
12 |
0 |
1.1194 |
 |
Steve Wright |
Steve Wright Quotes ... |
931 |
15 |
0 |
1.6112 |
 |
Store |
My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. ... |
342 |
8 |
0 |
2.3392 |
 |
Survey |
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would ... |
365 |
10 |
0 |
2.7397 |
 |
Swallow |
A doctor picks up his phone; Doctor, you gotta help me ... |
1279 |
15 |
0 |
1.1728 |
 |
Take it |
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bed ... |
607 |
15 |
0 |
2.4712 |
 |
Tales |
Last winter a cow nearby caught such a cold ... |
519 |
10 |
0 |
1.9268 |
 |
Tales |
Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin w ... |
377 |
11 |
0 |
2.9178 |
 |
Theories |
An American magazine held a competition, inviting ... |
499 |
13 |
0 |
2.6052 |
 |
The_speech |
I heard that they're referring to Clinton's Monday ... |
341 |
11 |
0 |
3.2258 |
 |
Thus Spake |
Thus Spake Gates... ... |
581 |
13 |
0 |
2.2375 |
 |
Time |
A man is strolling past the mental hospital ... |
390 |
7 |
0 |
1.7949 |
 |
Titanic |
What is Hillary's new nickname for Bill's penis?
... |
426 |
12 |
0 |
2.8169 |
 |
Tough decision |
Your dog's barking at the back door ... |
4685 |
921 |
457 |
9.9039 |
 |
Trade |
After a weekend trip home to Arkansas, Bill Clinto ... |
380 |
11 |
0 |
2.8947 |
 |
Trust |
Isn't putting Bill Clinton in charge of a trust fu ... |
355 |
9 |
0 |
2.5352 |
 |
Turpentine |
This little boy was sittin one day on a dock. Alon ... |
438 |
13 |
0 |
2.9680 |
 |
Twins |
Why did the black cat have a hard time living with twin witches ... |
316 |
8 |
0 |
2.5316 |
 |
Two condoms |
Did you hear about the two condoms outside a gay bar ... |
1280 |
10 |
1 |
0.7031 |
 |
Two Robins |
Once upon a time, there were two robins who woke one day ... |
619 |
22 |
0 |
3.5541 |
 |
UNIX Sex |
How does a UNIX expert do Sex? ... |
936 |
13 |
1 |
1.2821 |
 |
Unix Support |
How many Unix Support staff does it take to screw in a light bulb ... |
804 |
32 |
1 |
3.8557 |
 |
Unix Vendors |
How many Unix system vendors does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
585 |
20 |
0 |
3.4188 |
 |
Users |
Computer users are divided into three types ... |
487 |
9 |
0 |
1.8480 |
 |
Vet |
Old country has his favorite dawg. Done had the dog for 15 years ... |
666 |
24 |
1 |
3.4535 |
 |
Virus |
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? ... |
889 |
11 |
0 |
1.2373 |
 |
Wad |
What does Monica Loewenski have in her pocket?
... |
836 |
36 |
3 |
3.9474 |
 |
Win95 Source |
Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE *** ... |
695 |
13 |
0 |
1.8705 |
 |
Windows |
How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ... |
741 |
14 |
0 |
1.8893 |
 |
Worst |
The following are thought to be the worlds worst puns: ... |
2150 |
35 |
1 |
1.5814 |
 |
Wrong Direction |
A motorist was driving in the country ... |
2001 |
105 |
26 |
3.9480 |
|